Thursday, April 21, 2011

Abstract


You sway in spring breezes,
A soft-petal shimmy,
Sun-cloaked and shining
With the colors of rebirth,
While down, deep down
In soil-shod secrecy
Your roots twist their way
Around the white bones of winter.

11 comments:

  1. I love that "a soft-petal shimmy"!

    ReplyDelete
  2. So lovely. A "soft-petal shimmy" and "soil-shod secrecy" are just so...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Excellent. There is such a strong sense of the rhythm and musicality of language here, and the word feel as if they are doing the things they describe. I like the use of the second-person voice too.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Have just read your new piece...it's so beautiful. I love the apparent simplicity of it, yet each line is so powerful....feels so old, ancient (after the shining part)

    ReplyDelete
  5. ~ Valerianna and Aria: Thank you! It gives me a grin that a bit of bellydance vocabulary has transfered from the classroom to this poem :~)

    ~ CP: Second person can be really effective, but I tend to only use it in shorter pieces, as I find it hard to maintain at length. The compliment on musicality means a lot coming from a talented musician ~ Thank you!

    ~ Eimear: What a lovely response! Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. filled with more than one season
    lovely~

    ReplyDelete
  7. Beautiful musical words. This poem would make a great song. I especially liked, your roots twist their way around the white bones of winter!
    That is a perfect description. :-)

    Lovely to visit your wonderful blog and by the way I am a cat lover too!

    Best wishes,
    Jo May.

    ReplyDelete
  8. P.S. I have added your blog to my creative blog list on my site. I hope that is ok! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. ~ Tammie Lee; Thank you! When I was done layering the photo, it was easy to see both winter and spring in the resulting picture. I don't often think of them as connected, but of course they are!

    ~ Joanne; Hello and thank you for stopping by and commenting! Just back from visiting your blog - there is such a vast array of beautiful things there! Kudos!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Donna, everyone alse has said it all, beautiful words creating wonderful images x

    ReplyDelete
  11. ~ Ruthie; Thank you! Always a pleasure to see you've stopped by :~)

    ReplyDelete