Excellent. There is such a strong sense of the rhythm and musicality of language here, and the word feel as if they are doing the things they describe. I like the use of the second-person voice too.
Have just read your new piece...it's so beautiful. I love the apparent simplicity of it, yet each line is so powerful....feels so old, ancient (after the shining part)
~ Valerianna and Aria: Thank you! It gives me a grin that a bit of bellydance vocabulary has transfered from the classroom to this poem :~)
~ CP: Second person can be really effective, but I tend to only use it in shorter pieces, as I find it hard to maintain at length. The compliment on musicality means a lot coming from a talented musician ~ Thank you!
Beautiful musical words. This poem would make a great song. I especially liked, your roots twist their way around the white bones of winter! That is a perfect description. :-)
Lovely to visit your wonderful blog and by the way I am a cat lover too!
~ Tammie Lee; Thank you! When I was done layering the photo, it was easy to see both winter and spring in the resulting picture. I don't often think of them as connected, but of course they are!
~ Joanne; Hello and thank you for stopping by and commenting! Just back from visiting your blog - there is such a vast array of beautiful things there! Kudos!
I love that "a soft-petal shimmy"!
ReplyDeleteSo lovely. A "soft-petal shimmy" and "soil-shod secrecy" are just so...
ReplyDeleteExcellent. There is such a strong sense of the rhythm and musicality of language here, and the word feel as if they are doing the things they describe. I like the use of the second-person voice too.
ReplyDeleteHave just read your new piece...it's so beautiful. I love the apparent simplicity of it, yet each line is so powerful....feels so old, ancient (after the shining part)
ReplyDelete~ Valerianna and Aria: Thank you! It gives me a grin that a bit of bellydance vocabulary has transfered from the classroom to this poem :~)
ReplyDelete~ CP: Second person can be really effective, but I tend to only use it in shorter pieces, as I find it hard to maintain at length. The compliment on musicality means a lot coming from a talented musician ~ Thank you!
~ Eimear: What a lovely response! Thank you!
filled with more than one season
ReplyDeletelovely~
Beautiful musical words. This poem would make a great song. I especially liked, your roots twist their way around the white bones of winter!
ReplyDeleteThat is a perfect description. :-)
Lovely to visit your wonderful blog and by the way I am a cat lover too!
Best wishes,
Jo May.
P.S. I have added your blog to my creative blog list on my site. I hope that is ok! ;-)
ReplyDelete~ Tammie Lee; Thank you! When I was done layering the photo, it was easy to see both winter and spring in the resulting picture. I don't often think of them as connected, but of course they are!
ReplyDelete~ Joanne; Hello and thank you for stopping by and commenting! Just back from visiting your blog - there is such a vast array of beautiful things there! Kudos!
Donna, everyone alse has said it all, beautiful words creating wonderful images x
ReplyDelete~ Ruthie; Thank you! Always a pleasure to see you've stopped by :~)
ReplyDelete